Yesterday was a full day.  I attended the Surviving Leadership Conference at Northside Christian Church for the first time to hear Larry Osborne, Lead Pastor of North Coast Church, communicate some leadership concepts and principles.  I’ve read only one of Larry’s books (is it okay to call him Larry?…I mean, I don’t know him personally) Sticky Teams, but was excited to hear him speak for the first time.  The book addresses the dynamics of winning and losing teams…and how to keep your staff or lead team on the same page, moving forward.  Considering my current season, its unfiltered content and blunt style has given me a great deal to process and digest.

I took tons of notes, but there are some thoughts that resonated with me deeply that I want to share.  In this post, I’ll tell you about one of those.  (I smell a series…)

After working through a list of contrasting principles (winning teams do “this” and losing teams do “that”), we had some time for Q & A.  One of the questions posed to Larry was about how we can apply these leadership/team principles to our families.

Larry was quick to point out that with a wife and children, his number one ministry is to his family.  He talked about Paul’s perspective in I Corinthians 7, where he encouraged unmarried people to remain unmarried so that they could devote themselves completely to the ministry.  “But if you’re a horndog,” Larry paraphrased, “get married!  Then Ephesians 5 becomes your priority.”  Larry explained that if you’re married, your family is your primary calling, “So fulfill your calling, not your potential,” he said.

Our culture treats unfulfilled potential as a heinous crime.  We are so driven to build our pedigree, secure our tenure, rise above the rest, that we will sacrifice our calling to minister to our family in order to reach our full potential.  Its what the world expects.

Its not bad to hone your gifts and develop your talents.  Its not bad to be highly educated in what you do.  Its not bad to be the best at what you do.  But because I have a wife and children, my best goes to them.  I recognize that a short blog post cannot fully address the complexities of balancing family and career, but it serves as a reminder that my primary calling is to my wife and children.  I write about this a lot, but if Crystal is not getting my best, then there is no way I can be the kind of husband I’m called to be… and if I can’t be a good husband, I can’t be a good father and there is no way that I can be a good minister.

Larry warned us to never let our pursuit of reaching our potential trump our calling to our family.  “Sacrifice your gifts on the altar of your calling,” he encouraged.

So…I am a horndog and I hope I never reach my potential.