For whatever reason, over this last week, Ezra has been wanting me to be the one who finishes up our “bedtime routine” at night. This is kind of surprising because he usually chooses Mommy. (I swear I’m okay with that. Normally Calla chooses Daddy, so this man’s ego will survive.) Most often Crystal and I read books, pray together and sing some songs with each of the kids every night at bedtime…after rockin’ Calla for only a few minutes, she will tell ya its time to “go night night.” Ezra on the other hand, (much like his father) has trouble shutting his mind off and so likes to hang out and talk for a while before really submitting to his body’s desire to actually sleep. We talk about all kinds of things…Jesus, Michael Jackson, his cousins, aliens, music stations, poop…its basically his last window to throw out a million questions and make jokes that he knows his Daddy will laugh at.
But the other night, out of nowhere he asked, ” Hey Dad (I really wish he would stick with Daddy), next time you get on a stage to preach, can you take me up there with you and tell everyone my name?”
Now it could just be because the kid likes stages and if you have ever hung out with him much, you know that he will find one in any room and begin “performing” shortly after as if it is his duty to everyone present. So it might possibly be his attempt to show me up…
The truth that comes from the lips of children is sometimes so simple there is no need to read into it. But this time, indulge me. Maybe my son just wants to be known as my son…as mine, and no one elses. Maybe he wants everyone to know that he belongs to me. Anyone in their right mind will recognize the significance of what it feels like to know that your dad loves you and is so proud of you that he will stand up in front of a room full of people and tell everyone your name.
I am thankful my dad loves me that way. I am thankful my God loves me that way.
Never forget that your kids are watching and listening, even if you are convinced that they aren’t. And take every window they give you to speak truth about their identity into their lives, because already, the world is lying to them about who they really are. I think of Ephesians 1…my children are my inheritance, my children are my pride and joy.
I have no idea where I will preach next, but I can guarantee you this daddy is not going to be up there alone. I’ve got a promise to keep.
THE WOODS 
As someone who has had a void of spoken truth in his life and has suffered the consequences of that, I agree so much with your statement that we need to be speaking truth into our childrens lives about their identity.
Thanks so much for a tender reminder of this truth, God’s truth.
I just want to say that you are such an encouragement and great example of how to be a Christian father, husband and man.
“already, the world is lying to them about who they really are.” Oh, how I hate this, despise it with all that I am. I so desperately want my girls to know that they are loved and that they are amazing and fabulous simply because God made them that way. Do you have any specific things that you deliberately do in order to speak truth about their identity into their lives?
Hey Elizabeth…this is something I’m still trying to figure out as my kids grow. But a couple of ways I try to live it out are by communicating some basic truths to my kids at every chance I get:
1. YOU ARE LOVED – Ezra and Calla don’t just hear me say “I love you” but we also talk about several simple working definitions of what love means. Like “I love you means I will always be here for you/I will protect you/I will never love you less/etc.” And we talk about why they are loved just because they are them…not linked to their behavior, their looks or their accomplishments…just because they are themselves. I also try to communicate to them how we choose to love…through Jesus.
2. YOU ARE ON PURPOSE – Ezra asks so many big questions…its a gazillion chances to explain life to him (the challenge is in how to do it in a way he understands). So I try to draw parallels in everything we talk about back to the fact that God made him and he is a gift to us. And in the way we pray together, every night both my kids hear me pray that God make them the greatest people of their generation…that they will change the world…that people will know Jesus because of them.
3. YOU ARE SPECIAL – One on one time is a huge part of this to me….choosing to spend time with them…holding them…talking with them.
I’m still learning so much of how to be a good daddy…and always looking for new ways to tell my kids the truth about themselves. I’m excited to hear your ideas and practices…throw em out here!
I really like those ideas. It seems that a lot of how we speak truth to our babies is in small things. I talk to my girls a lot about how to “act loving” toward others. We talk about acting loving and beautiful vs acting ugly. I want them to know that love is action rather than feeling AND (especially since mine are both girls!) I want them to know that beautiful is in your heart rather than on your outside.
Making sure that I frequently bring God into our conversation and into our day is another way that I make sure they know that God is with us, that God is in charge of everything, that God loves us always, etc.
Just the fact that we have chosen to make financial sacrifices so that I can stay home with our kids full time is another big way that they know how important they are to us. Even small things like making sure that I schedule nap times in order to get one-on-one time with each girl every day helps them to know how they are loved.
As Analise gets older and able to understand more, I’m excited about finding even more ways to do this! I’m glad you guys are going first down this road. 🙂