Ezra is constantly doing what he refers to as “cool tricks.”  (I’m fairly confident that his phrasing has been inspired by the ridiculous show, Yo Gabba Gabba. If you have never seen it, its weird.  Really weird, but my kids love it.)  Anyway, there are “cool tricks” happening all the time at our house…jumping from his top bunk, catapulting over an arm of the sofa, scaling the headboard of our bed, or breakdance spinning on his belly.  (Ezra’s tricks have taken an interesting turn with his newfound love of all things Spiderman…most recently, he has been trying to climb his bedroom wall with his fingertips.)  Ezra lives life in the fast lane, he’s always running, jumping, somersaulting, climbing…basically, always on the move.

And with every “cool trick”,  Ezra says….

“Daddy!  Check this out!”

“Isn’t this cool Daddy?”

“Daddy, watch this…its gonna be really cool.”

Because he wants his daddy’s approval.  He’s hungry for my attention…he wants to know that I think he is awesome…and he needs to hear it over and over.

My words matter to him.  They carry the power to shape him, to impact his moods and behavior.  How I feel about him in some sense becomes his working definition of himself.  I play a significant role in how he learns of his identity.

And Ezra just wants to know his daddy loves him and is impressed with him.

I’m struck by all this.

Whether we admit it or not, we never seem to stop having some desire to impress those around us…because we are constantly forming a definition of ourselves.  (I’ve definitely met people who claim to not care what anyone else thinks of them, but those people are also probably the most emotionally cold and withholding people I know.)  God tells us who we are…we are loved, we are special, we are beautiful.  And the words of those around us either affirm that or they rob it from us.

Encouragement is so important…truth-telling is so important.  I’m reminded that it is key to surround myself with truth-tellers, not smoke-blowers, but people who are willing to acknowledge the God-given value in me and are invested in helping my definition of myself align itself more closely with God’s definition of me.

And without a doubt, our words have power…they can stay with a person for their entire life.  A piece of encouragement at the right time can heal and inspire…and choosing to stay silent at the wrong time can leave someone damaged and wounded.  Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will always hurt worse.

You may have no control over what people say or don’t say about you, but you can choose who you give the power to define you.  So choose wisely who you give that power to…who you allow to speak into your perception of yourself.  I know that I’ve made the mistake of giving careless people the power to define me…but I’m learning that its my power to give and my power to take away.

I don’t want to be careless with Ezra.  I don’t want to misuse the power he’s given me to speak into his life.  I want to be like my dad and instill a firm knowledge of who God is and how He feels about me.  I’m reminded of the first words I spoke to Ezra the moment he was born…”you are fearfully and wonderfully made.”  Before he heard any other words, I wanted him to hear that truth because I want those words on his heart for the rest of his life.

You (yes, you) are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Remember that.  Rest in that.