Got home from Catalyst Conference a week and a half ago and am still processing all that is Catalyst.  I have attended, participated in, and performed at several different conventions/conferences and never experienced anything like Catalyst.  As a gathering driven to challenge young leaders, it was incredibly creative, engaging, dynamic and quite inspiring.  The speakers and worship were amazing.  They seem to have thought of every creative element to keep everyone sharp and engaged in the material and experience itself.  I came home tired, yet refreshed and re-focused…realizing I have spent a great deal of my life trying to be a problem solver…when really some of the most creative, visionary moments in my life were the result of tension…moments where I lead without clarity but with assurance…moments where you could step back from a project or action step and say, “I communicated my heart as clear as I could have.”  Its time to embrace the tension and live in it…

It was there at Catalyst that a band called Gungor played a few songs…none of which can I get out of my head.  Brilliant, genuine songwriters…Their song, “Beautiful Things,” has been speaking to me so much.  So many times we show everyone our best when really we’re falling apart inside.  Sometimes we feel completely useless and don’t know how God could ever make right all our wrongs…or all the wrongs of those we love so much.

This has been a long year for a number of reasons…my heart is hurting for some so close to me as I watch them go through hell…go through something they never could have imagined…moments and memories that can be forgiven…but not forgotten.  And yet, somehow, some way God has given us hope that never fails…never disappoints…that someday, all the things that don’t make sense now, someday will.

He is making us new…constantly transforming us, renewing our minds…calling us deeper into Him…Jesus takes all our ugliness and makes us beautiful…but its still our choice to let Him.  Oh, how I wish we would just let Him…