I always thought I was a risk taker…or at least believed I have been at moments in my life.  I can definitely say that my hope has been to be someone that fits that description, but my lifestyle often tells a different story.  Its all subjective I suppose…but I can look back and see points where all common sense said to do one thing…but my gut said to step out in faith and do something else, something that demanded faith, demanded that action of being “all in.”  And I can also remember moments where I buckled and opted for safety…not necessarily complacency, but something awfully close to it.

As I am learning how to be a parent, and prayerfully an awesome one (I don’t want Ezra and Calla to have just a “good” dad), I’m often finding myself longing for security…not so much for me, but for my wife, for my son, for my daughter.  I can’t imagine my life without them, I don’t want to.  I believe that there is nothing I wouldn’t do for them…and nothing they could do to make me love them any less…They may hurt my heart severely, but I don’t think they can break it…God has taught me so much about the way he feels about me through my children…I love them.  I want them to be safe.  I think that’s natural.

Yet I recognize that at times I have been consumed with safety, maybe not obsessed…but if I’m totally honest, well then probably.  Francis Chan says in his book Crazy Love, “its not wrong to pray for God’s protection, but we should question how we have made safety our highest priority.  We have elevated safety to the neglect of whatever God’s best is, whatever would bring God the most glory, or whatever would accomplish His purposes in our lives and in the world.”

I don’t want to get in the way of what God is doing…even at the risk of pain or distress in my life.  I’ve got a long way to go, but that is where I believe I’m headed.  God use me…whenever, however, for whatever…and bring me closer to you…whatever it takes…